More Hymns We Really Sing: Mere Comments is taking submissions for parodies of popular hymns and praise songs. Perhaps I should further develop some of these?

Update: Below is the heart-piercing satire that I chose to submit (note that I identified myself with the tradition, as Touchstone’s satire generally focuses on “broad evangelicalism”).

Reformed, How I Love to Proclaim It!

Reformed, how I love to proclaim it!
Reformed by the blood of the Lamb;
Reformed through His infinite mercy,
His prodigy and far better I am.

Refrain

Reformed, Reformed,
Reformed by the blood of the Lamb;
Reformed, Reformed,
His prodigy and far better I am.

Reformed, and so confident in knowledge,
No questions my arguments can’t squelch;
I know that the power of my intellect
Within me doth continually swell.

Refrain

I think of the blessed Reformers,
I think of them all the day long:
I sing, for they cannot be silenced;
Semper Reformata ’tis our theme song.

Refrain

I know none of my culture is wasted,
See all th’ aspiring pupils like me,
And soon, with the status I’ve purchased,
Equal with the Lord I shall be.

Refrain