More Hymns We Really Sing: Mere Comments is taking submissions for parodies of popular hymns and praise songs. Perhaps I should further develop some of these?
Update: Below is the heart-piercing satire that I chose to submit (note that I identified myself with the tradition, as Touchstone’s satire generally focuses on “broad evangelicalism”).
Reformed, How I Love to Proclaim It!
Reformed, how I love to proclaim it!
Reformed by the blood of the Lamb;
Reformed through His infinite mercy,
His prodigy and far better I am.
Refrain
Reformed, Reformed,
Reformed by the blood of the Lamb;
Reformed, Reformed,
His prodigy and far better I am.
Reformed, and so confident in knowledge,
No questions my arguments can’t squelch;
I know that the power of my intellect
Within me doth continually swell.
Refrain
I think of the blessed Reformers,
I think of them all the day long:
I sing, for they cannot be silenced;
Semper Reformata ’tis our theme song.
Refrain
I know none of my culture is wasted,
See all th’ aspiring pupils like me,
And soon, with the status I’ve purchased,
Equal with the Lord I shall be.
Refrain
By the sincere working of the Spirit most of us really WANT to sing the hymns, pray the prayers and extend the blessings as they are written, but we are so passionately addicted to ourselves that we simply do not (cf. Romans 7).
Below are some of the Trinity Hymnal selections that readily come to mind (please feel free to add to the list with your own observations by using the comments).
| What We Want to Sing |
What We Really Sing |
#32 – Great Is Thy Faithfulness
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me! |
Great Is My Faithfulness
Great is my faithfulness, Lord, unto thee! |
| #701 – Redeemed, How I Love To Proclaim It! |
Reformed, How I Love To Proclaim It! |
| #295 – Crown Him with Many Crowns |
Crown Us with Many Crowns |
| #370 – Revive Thy Work, O Lord |
Revive My Work, O Lord |
| #461 – Not What My Hands Have Done |
Look What My Hands Have Done |
#461 – Not What My Hands Have Done
Not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul |
Not What Thy Hands Have Done
Not what thy hands have done can save my guilty soul |
#498 – Jesus! What A Friend For Sinners!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving, he is with me to the end |
Jesus! What A Friend For Sinless!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving, I am with him to the end |
#585 – Take My Life, and Let It Be
Take my will, and make it thine; it shall be no longer mine |
Take His Life, and Let Me Be
Take thy will, and make it mine; it shall be no longer thine |
#55 – To God Be The Glory
To God be the glory, great things he has done! |
To Us Be The Glory
To us be the glory, great things we have done! |
#674 – I Need Thee Ev’ry Hour
I need thee ev’ry hour, in joy or pain |
I Need Thee almost Ev’ry Hour
I need thee almost ev’ry hour, in just my pain |
| #649 – More Love To Thee, O Christ |
More Love to Me, O Christ |
| #37 – All That I Am I Owe to Thee |
All That I Am I Owe to Me |
| #44 – How Great Thou Art |
How Great I Art |
| #353 – I Love Thy Kingdom, Lord |
I Love My Kingdom, Lord |
Related malapropisms:
| What We Want to Pray |
What We Really Pray |
| Our Father, who art in heaven: hallowed be thy name; thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven … |
Our Father, who art in heaven: hallowed by my name; my Kingdom come, my will be done in heaven as it is on earth … |
| For thine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory. Amen! |
For mine is the Kingdom, the power, and the glory. Amen! |
And the classic Aaronic Benediction from Fiddler on the Roof:
| Blessings We Want to Extend |
Blessings We Really Extend |
| May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord cause his face to shine upon you … |
May the Lord bless you and keep you very far away from us! |
If there is any humor to be found here (largely the self-depricating kind), it is in admitting that I have actually caught myself repeating (several times) some of these malapropisms in worship (classic Freudian slips). In fact, I must confess that for the last hour Matthew Smith’s voice (from the Indelible Grace IV album) will simply not go out of my head: “More love, more love, more love to me …” Sounding somewhat like the word intended, it is ludicrously wrong given the context. It’s all about who? What seems like a harmless mistake is instead after reflection a view into the depravity of my heart and picture of my need for grace.