Have you ever woken up from a dream feeling anxious or guilty? That is how I felt this morning when I awoke thinking that I was going to go to jail. You see, I had dreamed that I had kidnapped someone and was going to get caught, mainly because I could not go through with the plot. It was a good five minutes after I was awake before I convinced myself that it was all a dream.

All I remember about the dream is that myself and a guy from church kidnapped a well known female acquaintance. We were holding her hostage in a hotel room and were using her as leverage and/or ransom. Once, when checking on her, I caught her in an escape attempt. So I zip tied her arms behind her back and stuck red duct tape over her mouth right before she asked me, “Why?” I assured her everything would be alright, but the look on her face was as if she thought we would never let her go alive (i.e., she’d seen our faces). Around about this time I woke up.

What I can piece together as a potential influence for this dream is that I was watching the first season of 24 right before I went to bed. In Episodes 3 and 4 (2:00am – 4:00am), Dan and Rick kidnap Jack’s daughter, Kim, but she escapes only to be recaptured, restrained and delivered to Ira Gaines. Combine this with the narcotic painkillers I was on for my kidney stone and…uh…well, it sounds a bit more plausible…but still pretty weird.

About the only point I can think of for sharing this, other than to show how strange dreams can be, is to say that not even your dream life is safe from sin and guilt. I was certainly relieved to realize that I had not committed any wrongs in actuality. However, was the way I dreamt and later felt not symptomatic of the depravity of my heart?

I am writing this post mainly for myself, but at the same time I wanted to share. However, while we are on the topic of sharing, I must state upfront that I have changed my Creative Commons License from “Attribution-Share Alike” to “Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works.” Most of the content on this blog I would gladly consider sharing openly, but my dreams are uniquely my own and for the time being I would like to keep them that way. You never know when I will get bit by the novel or screenplay writing bug (especially with this particular dream).

Dreams have always fascinated me. Sometimes my dreams jump around from one subject to another; sometimes they stay on course and unfold like an epic adventure. A few of them have recurring themes (e.g., tornadoes). Then there are the déjà vu dreams in which I later feel like I must have dreamt this before (i.e., premonition dreams). While they are often vivid, my dreams are also soon forgotten as the sleepyness wears off and I have had my morning coffee. While I have recounted dreams before, I have never before taken the time to write one down (though in retrospect I wish I had).

I am starting a new series on Transformatum by titling this Dream Diary #1. However, unlike my other weekly standards (Monday Meditation and Friday Vespers) it will be hit or miss and not based on any type of schedule.

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I was tagged by Ben over at Open Switch. This is a side question, but I wonder if I have ever been tagged and not known it? Anyway, Ben is a fellow gadget man like me. We seem to have a lot in common, except I usually leave roadkills alone. Matt has a great story about roadkill . . . perhaps I will tag him? But I digress. At the risk of bordering on blog-streaking, here are . . .

Five things that (most of) you previously did not know about me (and quite possibly wish you had never known):

1. I have a concealed carry permit. Gun ownership does not come without certain risks and repsonsibilities, but I sincerely believe that you have a right (dare I say duty?) to defend yourself and your family (though force is always a last resort . . . use your noggin).
2. I am a perfectionist (almost O.C.D.) about certain things. For example, the text on this blog is “block justified.” If only one or two words of the last sentence drops to the bottom line of a paragraph, I must edit the paragraph to eliminate the stragglers.
3. My first girlfriend—and the first girl I ever kissed—is also my wife.
4. I was the big kid growing up. I am 6′ 5″ tall, so I guess you could say I carried the weight well (all 250+ lbs.). However, kids can be pretty cruel. As a result I *hated* junior high school and most of senior high. I am currently at my winter weight of 200 lbs. (the threshold of “man weight,” or so I’ve been told). I’ll drop 10 lbs. once the bicycling season starts.
5. I have three pet snakes. I have always wanted one since I was a kid, but my mom would never allow it. Fast forward to 2006 and I somehow convinced my wife to permit me to get “one,” so I bought a “pair” of Emory rats! Then a friend gave me a Burmese python that she thought was a Ball python. I reluctantly gave the Burm away and bought a real Ball python to replace it. I had a fourth, an albino emoryi, but he died.

People I am tagging:

• Rob – he’s going to tease me about #2.
• Matt – see intro paragraph above.
• Willa – sure, sure, like she didn’t know it was a man-eating snake.
• Chris T. – a man of many secrets.
• stelmodad – he is due for a meme.

Do you remember your elementary school report cards? You know the ones without grades? Instead of A’s and B’s you received an “E” for excellent, an “S” for satisfactory or an “N” for not satisfactory. The teachers could also select from a list of comments about your progress and behavior. Good or bad, my report cards were always heavy on the comments. I suppose that without grades they are helpful.

One of the comments was “Talks too much [in class].” If I was not being reprimanded for talking to my neighbor while the teacher was trying to teach, the poor kid next to me was getting in trouble on my behalf. I do not recall a single year from first through sixth grade in which I did not receive the dreaded ‘talks too much’ comment. Thank goodness there were other offsetting positive remarks, or I would have gotten in more trouble.

Recently I have been reading the Family Pilgrim’s Progress to my five year old son. This edition of John Bunyan’s classic short story has been abridged and annotated with special character studies to introduce the people in the story and explain their meaning. The pictures are cool to look at, too, like when Christian battles with the demon Apollyon.

The other day we got to Chapter 6: Vanity Fair. As soon as I started to read I began to feel uncomfortable.

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On Sunday I was graciously handed a copy of Sufjan Stevens’ Songs for Christmas – Vol. I, II & III. Josiah posted the tracks on his blog last year. You can also download them elsewhere on the internet. You will not find the album in stores. Stevens apparently produced the tracks for his friends and fans.

The album is mostly Sufjan style covers of classic Christmas carols and hymns. However, there are a few originals that are real gems. Maybe someday an album full of them will be released?

Vol. I Hark! Songs for Christmas
01 Silent Night
02 O Come, O Come Emmanuel
03 We’re Goin’ to the Country!
04 Lo How a Rose E’er Blooming
05 It’s Christmas! Let’s Be Glad
06 Holy, Holy, etc.
07 Amazing Grace

Vol. II Hark! Songs for Christmas
08 Angels We Have Heard On High
09 Put the Lights on the Tree
10 Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing
11 I Saw Three Ships
12 Only at Christmas Time
13 Once in David’s Royal City
14 Hark! The Herald Angels Sing!
15 What Child is This Anyway?
16 Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella

Vol. III Ding! Dong! Songs for Christmas
17 O Come, O Come Emmanuel
18 Come On! Let’s Boogie to the Elf Dance!
19 We Three Kings of Orient Are
20 O Holy Night
21 That Was the Worst Christmas Ever!
22 All the King’s Horns
23 Ding! Dong!
24 The Friendly Beasts

My personal favorite from the album is That Was the Worst Christmas Ever! Not your typical Christmas song, it stirs up distant memories from my childhood while also shining light on my present surroundings. Our secular culture says that Christmas is about happiness and good cheer, when the reality for many is sadness and gloom. The track traces one child’s not so perfect Christmas. At the same time Sufjan points to the hope of Christmas. What happened on that silent and holy night gives us both strength and hope.

I listened to the song about ten or twelve times and transcribed the lyrics. The only line I am unsure about is the last word on the tenth line. It is hard to make out due to Sufjan’s falsetto. (more…)