For the past couple years our oldest son has been attending a mother’s day out program twice a week at a sister church. Because of his October birthday, we decided that Fall 2007 would be the time for him to enter Kindergarten. Since the beginning of this year my wife and I have been discussing and debating the various educational choices. We talked to friends, family and people we respected in order to help us in our decision. It was even a topic on our family blog. Today our son started his first day of Kindergarten at the local public elementary school. As I sat down to write this post I realized that it was probably going to result in a debate over the merits of homeschooling, private Christian schooling and everything in between. That is exactly the topic that I want to address.

There is an excellent article written by Tim Challies called Education and Division. I do suggest that you check it out before continuing, but be forewarned because Tim rarely writes anything short (he would make an excellent preacher). The idea I want you to take away from the article is that too often I think that Christians engaged in the education debate are fighting the wrong battle. They are unwittingly being turned against each other. Most conversations that we had on the subject of school choice were non-threatening, but unfortunately sometimes we felt like we were being told that in order to be faithful parents we really had no ‘choice’ in the matter. When this personally happened to us it resulted in confusion, anxiety, hurt and even anger. The following from Tim’s blog post sums up my sentiments on it exactly.

. . . for my family and for countless others, the choice to put our children in public school is made on the basis of biblical conviction. We are not necessarily committed to having our children in public schools from now until the time they graduate. For the time being, though, and for the situation we are in, we are convinced that this is the best choice for our family and for our children. We are convinced that it is the biblical choice. Statements like this one, “we are not trying to do school like they do, but better,” are all too common and both sting and divide. Not only does it divide us into the two camps of “us” and “them,” but it also suggests that homeschooling [or Christian private schooling] is innately, objectively superior and that it is always the right choice for all families. We see this again in Kim’s statement that “We must use the Bible to judge between right and wrong, and we must act in clear conscience (Rom 14:5).” She (probably inadvertently) sets these two statements against each other, saying that there is objective right and wrong and that we must move forward with homeschooling with a clear conscience. Yet if this is a matter of conscience, it must be a matter which is not so clearly defined. So guard against the sense of superiority that can come creeping in.

One of the discussions that I have been having with a friend surrounds my role as an officer in the church. Oftentimes I see myself simply as Scott, who says things that are on his mind — things that are not immune from revision or retraction. However, that is not how others always see me when I am talking. Instead, they see Elder Scott, whose words carry weight (I am afraid far more than should be allowed). So my friend pointed out on the issue of education that I, as an officer, must be very careful not to communicate that we are making the righteous choice for our son’s education. I thought of this as I read Tim’s article; there are biblical arguments for all three educational options — public, private and homeschooling — each having their own merits and inherent dangers. I firmly believe this and that parents have a right and responsibility to make the decision on what is best for their child, family and circumstances.

As I was processing all of the conversations on education in my head, I eventually came to realize that making the righteous choice was exactly the trap we were falling into. Eventually, through many meetings with school officials, campus tours, thought and prayer we came to the decision to send our son to our community’s elementary school. Yet as parents we both found ourselves second guessing the decision and wondering if we were making the right choice. At the root of the questioning is the fear that we are going to make a mistake. We have been feeling the pressure that if we do not make the right choice, then someday we will be hearing “I told you so” or “it’s your fault” when something bad happens — be it an incident at the school or a shortcoming in our son’s achievement. The reality is that no environment this side of heaven is safe. If you do not believe me, then I have some friends who are teachers or were homeschooled that can tell you otherwise.

The irony of these self-realizations (and an example of how God’s Spirit often works in us) is that as soon as my wife and I got to the school last night for open house, I found myself reverting to feelings of superiority. As all of the parents stood around the room listening to the teacher, I was mentally checking everyone out and making snap judgments based on their appearances and mannerisms. “Oh, this is not going to be so bad. That couple over there looks just like us. That person looks pretty clean cut. The kids are behaved, too. Oh, but that mom has tattoos. So does dad. And that lady looks like a redneck. But there’s only a couple of them. That’s better than we could have hoped for.” As these thoughts came racing through my head, I was almost immediately convicted of how stupid and self-righteous I sounded. For all I knew, the guy in the golf shirt could be an abusive dad and the blue collar dude who looks like a young Sly Stallone could be father of the year. Even if my observations were right, what does it really matter? The more I thought about it, the more I realized that when I was in elementary school my mom and I were probably on the receiving end of that same sort of judging. Ironic indeed, as well as illustrative of my need to learn how to really love people. I pray that God would continue to expose my unbelief and grip me with the reality of his grace, teaching me what it means to be called his child.

My wife and I have two more children who will be coming through the Kindergarten ranks in 2009 and 2012. With each one we will go through the same decision making process, because both of them are unique people with distinct needs. Our family will also be in a different place (I mean that figuratively). As for our oldest, we have no concerns that he is not going to do well wherever we place him. He has an open personality, a passion for learning and parents who will be involved every step of the way. We have faith, too, that whatever choices we make are part of God’s perfect plan, whatever may come of it; but even then we must be careful to avoid thinking our choices have earned us merit, or that we have given our children a spiritual insurance policy. As parents we are charged with the responsibility of training our children in the ways of the Lord, but let us remember that ultimately it is all about Jesus Christ and Him crucified. There is only One who can truly teach our kids and tune their hearts to be loving and obedient. In other words, the battle for who is Lord of their hearts is the same regardless of where we choose to train our children how to live in this world.