(PsuedoNews Wire) – A recent article in The Watley Review, titled Homeland Security to Rely on Dinosaur Patrols, announces how the U.S. Department of Homeland Security is planning to direct “a substantial portion of its funding into genetic engineering research and development, in order to create a custom security force to be activated by 2014.” That security force, a.k.a. The Jurassic Defense Network, is made up entirely of dinosaurs that will be genetically engineered from amber encapsulated DNA (just like in the movie).

It reminds me of my friend, Oriondark, who has this theory about where the dinosaurs came from. My friend is an intelligent, well educated, and metrosexual kind of guy. With all seriousness he told us this summer that he thinks that the dinosaurs are trash from the future. That is, man invents them years from now — perhaps for purposes similar to those given in the Watley article — but then becomes overwhelmed with the task of disposing of them after they die. You can just imagine how hard it would be to bury a Brontosaurus. In response to the crowded landfills and growing stench, man uses the invention of time travel to transport the dinosaur carcasses back into the prehistoric past. Fascinating theory, is it not?